Sometimes, even as we attempt to describe what we want, there seems to be a kind of fog attached to it. Frequently, we're so used to not having or getting what we want that we "pre-edit" before we can even articulate what it is that we do want.

Our minds won't even allow us to fully create the internal representations of what we want because we "already know" that we can't have it. By internal representations, I mean the mental pictures, sounds, feelings and even tastes and smells which accompany a real want.

I'd like to suggest that, through this process of "pre-editing," we are actually practicing not getting what we want! Let me say that again because it's a vital piece of information and a big part of turning who you are into what you want. By continuing to think about the reasons why we can't have what we want, we are actually practicing not getting what we want.

The brain doesn't know the difference between an event and a vividly recalled event. The neurology lights up in exactly the same way. And the more vividly recalled the event, that is, the more sensory representation occurs in the recollection, the less the brain distinguishes between the actual event and the recollection of that event.

For now, simply be aware of the importance of letting the mind go - utterly and completely free - as you imagine what it is that you want. It can help to realize that what we "want" seems to naturally fall into a number of categories.

There are "things" that we want. There are people or animals we'd like to have in our lives. There are "events" that we would like to have "happen." There are "states" that we would like to "be in." There are combinations of all of these that we want. It can help to become aware of these distinctions as we identify and name exactly what it is that we want.

Lets look at the categories one by one. As we do, try not to get too picky about what necessarily goes into each category. The purpose of this rather arbitrary breakdown is to notice how we think about what we want.

First, there are things that we want. Cars, jewelry, houses, clothing, tools, toys, food, electronics, products of one kind or another - these are pretty simple and straightforward. "Stuff." Some "stuff" is very hard to come by. Some "stuff" is not so hard to come by and some "stuff" is pretty easy to come by.

Then, there are people and animals we'd like to have in our lives - relationships of one kind or another. Friends, aquaintances, co-workers, therapists, "hired help," lovers, "just friends," pets, "working" animals -- these can get a bit more complicated. As with "stuff," though, people and animals can be very hard, not so hard or pretty easy to come by. Think of people, animals and things as nouns.

There are events we'd like to have happen in our lives. Some of these events may include other people or things and some may not. Vacations, promotions, trips, games, parties, dates, elections, celebrations, phone calls -- these are actions or activities that we want to accomplish or to have occur. They can be thought of more as verbs, although one special kind of activity, a job, can be thought of as a "thing" as well as an "event" or "series of events."

Finally, there are states of mind and body that we'd like to experience. Happiness, fulfillment, joy, love, ecstasy, arousal, peace, calm, bliss - these are less "tangible" than people, animals, things or events but none the less "real."

You may notice a remarkable shift when you take the time to quiet your mind and ask yourself what you really want. Some of the things you thought you wanted may have lost some of their luster. It may have been a bit difficult to even think of things you wanted. From the quiet peace of remembering who and what you really are, some of the things you've "always wanted" may not seem so important now.

Bear this in mind: what we really want always helps us to remember and to be who and what we really are. Conversely, who and what we really are helps us to know what it is that we really want.

When we are busy not being who and what we are, there are all kinds of things we think we want or need. We are busy looking outside of ourselves for confirmation and validation because that is the only way to know where we stand. Once we begin to remember who and what we really are, a very quiet but powerful, almost magical shift takes place.

Little by little, it is as if we find an internal compass right there inside of ourselves. At first, there may be only a glimpse or two - a fleeting moment of remembering. That's alright. All good things come in their own time. But the more we practice, the easier it is to remember who and what we really are, and what we really want.

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